Sunset On The Reza Show

Normally I don't do blogs on any of the shows on Bravo because so many blogs are already dedicated to these shows and are done much better than I could ever hope to do.  This blog is not a recap of last nights episode but rather my response to the very ignorant and offensive remarks made by Reza Farahan last night on the show, The Shahs of Sunset.

Last night, in one fell swoop, Reza managed to get himself put on my "Your A Rank Bitch" list.  He remarked that "monogamy in the gay community was like don't ask, don't tell.  As long you don't come home with something you didn't leave with your okay."  As soon as I got done picking my chin up off of the floor I got angry.  I was thinking, "who the hell does this fucktard think he is to be speaking on behalf of the entire gay community?"  That is certainly not how I nor any of my gay friends view monogamy.  Reza, who is one of the few openly gay Persians in the  Beverly Hills real estate scene should know better than to make such an ignorant remark.  It just supports and give validity to stigmas that surround and get slung at the gay community.

It is these types of images, stereotypes and stigmas which are used by those who oppose gay equality.  Basically, it portrays gay men as some sort of sex crazed animal who is morally bankrupt.  I am so tired of having to live down the stigma that all gay men are narcissistic, shallow peacocks who run around having wild sex and don't deserve to be treated with respect.  It just pisses me off.

My being gay is only one aspect of my personality.  It is not who I am nor what defines me.  All my homosexuality does it add a little flavor to the person I am.  So when I see or hear gay men, a prominent gay men, like Reza make such stupid, ignorant remarks my blood boils.  Reza doesn't live in the real world.  He lives in world where anything can be overlooked if you have enough money.  For the rest of poor schlubs who live and work in the real world, we will have to suffer the consequences of Reza's remarks. 

Reza looks like the pudgy love child of Saddam Hussein and Adolf Hitler.  He dresses like a peacock on crack.  What attracts people to Reza is a mask of superficiality and cockiness that covers up all the years of probable teasing he took as a fat, Persian kid without a father who grew up in Beverly Hills.  In his bio, on Bravo TV's website its says, "Born in Tehran, Iran, and raised in Beverly Hills, Reza is a 38-year-old prominent player in the Los Angeles real estate world. He is one of few openly gay Persians in the community and often struggles with gossip and prejudice regarding his sexuality. Reza’s family supports him in spite of the pressure they feel to ostracize him. Despite his untraditional style, Reza is an old fashioned guy at heart who wants a partner, a family, and the American White Picket Fence happy ending, but he is going to have to get past the baggage he carries from his upbringing to achieve it."

"Untraditional" style?  Are you kidding me?  Reza is a self-loathing, emotionally stunted idiot.  Reza, "an old fashioned guy at heart who wants a partner, a family and the the American white picket fence happy ending?"  Who the hell isn't buying that bullshit?  Great way to put a spin on the asshole that is Reza.  According to Reza, the cut off for being the gay town pump is 55.   For someone who is  Reza's age, this type of behavior is beyond insipid, its embarrassing.  Its embarrassing to watch this man think a 25 year old finds him attractive.  Trust me when I tell you, that little twink in the club is not seeing Reza's eyes, ass or bulge.  They don't want to get to know him.  What they want is his Cartier watch, the Gucci shoes and all that comes with his money, they are seeing his bling and are doing the math.  Reza is delusional if he thinks he is pretty.  He is not.   Reza walks around with enough cockiness that it will draw in  people but in the end most people will see him for what his is, a sad, damaged little man.  

This behavior will bite him in the ass.  I have seen it happen many times.  Reza will end up, as MJ said to him, "you will end up old and alone if you continue to act like this" and he will.  Wealth can buy many things but true love, loyalty and happiness are not for sale.   I see Reza in 20 years, fatter, older and in a panic because the youth he attracts to easily and uses to cover his emotional damage now will cost him much more at 58 than at 38.  Desperateness is not attractive.

We are watching Reza date a man, Adam.  Adam is handsome and appears to be sweet.  As we all know, this current season is filmed months ago, so I don't know if they are still dating.  We are watching as Reza publicly humiliates this man.  If they are still dating my best advice to Adam is this,  "Adam honey, run.  Run like the wind and never look back.  This guy is a douche lord."

Reza has shown me and I am sure the world at this point, what an epic miss as human he really his.  His false bravado and self-loathing behavior is not cute, funny nor attractive.  I am disgusted with him.  I have gone from fan to hater in under 60 minutes.  I will no longer pull any punches for this man.  He is on my radar and I no longer feel the need to temper my words for him.  Its on Reza, like Donkey Kong.  I will continue to watch the train wreck you are because who doesn't love to watch a jerk get his comeuppance.  It makes for good TV.

I was hoping Reza would be a positive role model for the gay community.  I am sure many within the Persian community were feeling the same way.  In the end though, the only thing Reza represents on this show is every stigma the rest of us in the gay community spent the last 20 years trying to live down.  For me, the sun has set on the Reza Farahan show.

Over The Rainbow

I am sitting at my desk this morning, coffee in hand and cig burning in the ashtray beside me.  I am watching the Benitez children goofing around as they wait for the their bus to come.  They are of the same age as those little darlings who were so gruesomely murdered on Friday in the Shady Hook Elementary school in Newtown, CT.

I see them laughing, pushing and teasing each other and I feel thankful they are being children.  Filled with happiness and mischief, as all children should be.  I am sure I am joined by the entire world in our grief for the innocent children who were taken from us and those adults who also were slain while trying to protect our greatest gifts.  Watching my neighbors children in some small way reaffirms life for me.

I think I am so affected because like so many, I was sitting in front of my TV when the horrific news broke.  I don't want to to go into details as I think we have all been traumatized enough.  I will say those first unfiltered images were hideous and I hope they are consigned to the back of a closet in the news rooms they came from.

Newtown, CT is a small town very much like my own town of Torrington, CT.  Torrington is nestled in the northwest Hills of Connecticut.    At the right you will see a pic of downtown Torrington at the turn of the century.  It hasn't changed.  We are a population of approximately 28k people.  We are a sleepy little village, not really a town in its feel but rather a village.  As you can see from the picture at the right, we haven't changed that much.  Our main street, anchored with the our lovingly restored Warner Theater Movie Palace is quintessential New England.

I think that is why we, in Torrington were so touched and are grieving for our neighboring town of Newtown.  Newtown is but 30 miles down the road from us.  We share so much in common.

In the past few days I cannot help but to keep imagining the horror and fear those children and adults inside that school must have felt.  Even now the tears fall.  I feel so powerless to stop what happened and I feel even more powerless to help those who have had their lives forever changed.  Powerless is not a feeling I like to have.

I remember other tragedies such as 9/11 and other school shootings and while I felt many of the same feelings of outrage and sadness, this one hit just a little too close to home.  This one, like the Federal Building bombing in Oklahoma City took the lives of sweet innocent children.  The single most defenseless portion of our society.  I think this is why I and all of us grieve that much deeper and I am sure that much longer.

Do things need to change?  Sure.  I have my thoughts and feeling on gun control, mental health parity, and better access to mental health/medical services as well as, instituting some sort of mental health court system to better deal with those who are afflicted with a mental illness.  I don't think locking away those with severe mental illness is an answer.  I would like to see some form of prevention so that events like this don't have to happen.  I don't know.  Nor do I feel I can attempt to have the discussions I know we need to have to ensure this doesn't happen again.

I know my heart is heavy.   I have moments when I feel almost normal and then a song, a news clip reminds me of the suffering that is going on just a few miles away.  I cannot help but weep again for all those affected by the shootings.

When I get sad music seems to soothe me and help lift my spirit.  This morning I thought of a song "Over The Rainbow"  originally sung by Judy Garland for the movie, Wizard of Oz but it was covered by a man, Israel kamakawiwo'ole or IZ as he was known.  Its a beautiful version of a song that I feel brings much comfort to me.  Its just IZ singing the song in his own way, with a Ukelele strumming in the background.  I have included a link to the YouTube video.  Please take a listen, I think you will also find this song and IZ's voice very soothing. http://youtu.be/VmCcNKd58Aw

I know those in Newtown will find a way to move forward and I know I will too.  The only way I know to over the great sadness and grief I feel is to love a little deeper, do more good and to remember those who lives were snatched from us far to early.  I will simply end with a Namastae or Zei Gezunt, in Peace.

Say My Name

I really don't know how to start this blog.  Its strange for me, of all people, to stumble for a way to convey my thoughts or feelings, but here we are.  I was originally born, Lucien Loren Scott.  The first born son of Lucien Oliver Scott and the the third son of Linda Kress Fischer.  This was my mother's second marriage and my father's first.  It didn't last very long.  A year and a few months to be exact.  They divorced and my mother moved back to Connecticut in pursuit of starting over.

Anyhow, eventually my mother met a new man.  They met at the factory where they both worked.  Charles E. Simpson was his name.  Charlie or Dobbs, as he was nicknamed,  was one of those stand up men a women is truly blessed to have come into their lives.  They married and life was good for a while.  Charlie didn't care that I was another man's son.  He treated me as his own.  We were close.  My biological father was no where to be found.  He never sent a card, a present and certainly never any child support.  All of that never mattered to Charlie, my Dad.  He just was proud to have me as a son.  A few years later my little sister came along, Wendy Lynn.  

When I started school my mother decided to keep with her whole contrived story of being a vestal virgin and my having a different last name that was different from hers wasn't going to make her story believable.  So my Mother did what any liar would do.  She simply changed my last name.  This was the 1970's and I am sure it was easy.  I became known as Lucien Loren Simpson, or Loren Simpson as my mother refused to utter the name Lucien.  That my friends is how this saga all began.  

Earlier this year my drivers license was getting ready to expire.  I dreaded going to Motor Vehicles and standing in line forever and getting another one of those ugly DMV pictures.  When my number was finally called I went up to the window with my birth certificate (in the name of Lucien Loren Scott), my Social Security card (in the name of Lucien Loren Simpson) and my drivers licence.  The clerk looked at all 3 forms of ID and asked the same old question I had heard my entire life.  "Why is your birth certificate and Social Security card different?"  I explained that my mother had changed my name and somehow gotten my social security number with the last name of Simpson.  The clerk then called over a supervisor and they both had very confused looks.  The supervisor explained with all the new laws that had been enacted since the 9/11 attacks.  State issued ID's and driver's licenses had to be "verified."   Basically, this meant that everything had to match and be verifiable.  I was stunned.  

This hit me like a ton of bricks.  I could no longer drive, take a plane, a train or leave the country.  I was in fact, unable to prove my citizenship.  I felt like a non-person.  I went home.  Dejected, angry and worried.  I know the laws in Virginia/D.C. region require a person to produce state issued ID upon request from a police officer and failure do to so can result in being arrested until you can prove your identity.  So now the scared feeling set in.

Being a para-legal by trade, I knew a simple name change is easy.  The problem I had was that I had actually never really existed under my birth name.  I had gone to school, college and worked under my now illegal name.  So I actually had nothing from my birth name other than my birth certificate.  

Last month I went down to the Probate Office at our local town hall.  I knew if I spoke with the Probate Judge's assistants I would find out what I was actually up against.  I was told to bring down 2 forms of ID, $150.00 and my long form birth certificate.  That was all I would need.

Today I did all just that.  I filled out the requested forms, paid my fee and went before the Probate Judge.  I was scared and feeling alone but was bound, set and determined to get this matter dealt with before the end of the year.  The Judge asked a few questions and I answered and then he stamped my application and it was done.  Lucien L. Scott was no more.  I would now and forever be known as Lucien L. Simpson.  The clerk handed me a couple of papers and explained what I would have to show the DMV to prove my name change.  I thanked every one and was about to leave when the Judge stepped over to me and said, "I knew your Dad, we went to school together, how is he?"  I told the judge that we lost my Dad 11 years ago to a massive heart attack.  The Judge said he was sorry and that my Dad always spoke highly of me when they would go golfing.  I think I teared up when he said that.  We shook hands and I left.

As i walked home I know I had a smile on my face.  The relief was apparent in the quickness of my step.  I had a name.  The name I always had but now it really was my name.  It was the name of the only man I ever truly trusted and respected.  When I got home and sat down on my bed I started to cry.  The house was quiet and the tears just flowed.  Dad and I had a rocky road.  I blamed him for all the physical abuse I had endured from my mother.  I blamed him for not stopping it.  I had blamed him for not stopping the sexual abuse I suffered.  Dad and I warred well into my 30's.  It wasn't an easy relationship to say the least.  

Somewhere in my mid 30's I moved to Virginia.  Dad and Mom would come down every year for a visit. One year Dad and I had an explosive fight.  It all started over my Mother.  He didn't like the way I was talking to her.  Dad and I exchanged ugly words for what seems hours.  Of course Mom enjoyed the whole event.  She always loved to pit one against the other when it came to us.  I don't know how it happened but that night I ended up in his arms asking what I ever did to him to make him not love me?  

This was the only time I ever saw that man cry.  He looked at me and said he didn't hate me, that he indeed loved me and was always so proud of me.  When I asked why he allowed to happen what did, he said he didn't know how to stop any of it.  He said he too had been molested as a young boy by a family member.  He begged for my forgiveness.  We just cried together.  It was the single most important moment of my life as a man, a boy and a person.  

I, of course, accepted and gave him the forgiveness.  We healed that night.  Two men, a father and his son.  All the years of resentment, anger and misunderstandings faded away.  We started to get to know each other as people, as men.  I finally had the father I always wanted and I hope he felt like he had the son he always wanted.  We talked weekly.  There were even time when he and a couple of his golf buddies would come down to play golf at some of the great public golf courses we have in Virginia Beach.  Just good times and great memories.

Of course Mother would always be trying to drive the old wedge between us but we never allowed it.  We enjoyed each other.  I would take him to hooters to see some "Boobies" and he tried to get to know the gay world, like watching Queer As Folk with me.  I still laugh as I watched him squirm all over that couch when two men kissed.  What an act of love huh?  Our time as friends, as parent and child was short.  Dad died of a massive heart attack on September 28, 2001.

So as I sat on my bed all of these thoughts were going around and around in my head.  I hoped that Dad was looking down and smiling.  I miss his "you've done good kid, real good, I am proud of you."  The tears have yet to stop.  I don't know why this is so affecting me.  Maybe because I wish I had done this while he was alive?  Maybe because I am a Simpson now?  Maybe just because I miss his big arm around me? I don't know.  Maybe I am just an emotional gay man?  Who knows?

So, at the end of it all, a name is not really just a name.  Its the feelings and history that comes with it.  I am proud to be the last Simpson to carry on the name.  I understand I very well may be the last male to use it in this family but I will, as Illana Angel, of Keeping The Faith Blog, says, be keeping the faith because who knows what the future brings.  

Torch & Twang And A Set of Dimples

I as sit and gaze out my window from my desk I am flooded with so many different reactions to things I have seen in the last week or so.

Lets begin with the never ending Leann Rimes saga.  I have always like Leann's voice.  Amazing set of pipes on that little lady.  She stopped me dead in my tracks years ago when I heard her single "Blue" on the radio.  I have followed her career and was happy when she married and seemed to be not following the Tanya Tucker route of self destruction, which is so common for entertainers who achieve stardom so early.  Recently, however, I have stopped, paused and even gotten sick to my stomach as this woman has pissed, moaned and sniveled her way across far too many tabloid sheets for my taste.  I followed her on Twitter and watched this selfish, self-absorbed creature try to garner sympathy for the hurtful, nasty actions she has done.

Lets face the facts, Eddie and Leann met on a film.  They had an attraction.  They both claim, for whatever reason, "nothing happened during the filming."  The commenced a tawdry affair after the film though, so I don't get why they made that distinction?  They divorced their spouses and married each other.  Those are the facts.

Okay, so Eddie cheated on his wife and Leann cheated on her husband.  Call me old fashioned but I think they are both scumbags.  I am also a realist.  In reality, people fall in and out of like.  I have and I am sure who ever is reading this has.  The honorable thing would have been for Leann and Eddie to go back to their respective spouses and tell them they wanted out.  Again, color me a prude, but when you make a commitment, such as marriage, its not always about love.  Its a commitment to be with another.

In talking with some older folks who have been married, 30, 40 or 50 years, I hear a common theme.  The theme being about commitment and respect.  "Love is an emotion that can consume everything" one man told me.  His name was Andy.  He spoke to me at length about how he loved his wife beyond words when they married.  I peppered him with questions about his marriage.  He told me, after 15 years felt he was no longer "in love with her" but still loved her as the mother of his children and as a person.  He also related how after love came friendship and companionship.  Sharing mutual goals in life.  He said he always respected his wife and feels that was the crucial aspect that kept them together.  He is still married, 46 years now.  When I asked how he felt about his wife now I was stunned by his response.  "We fell in love, married, had children, and both fell out of what we thought was love.  We then became friends, partners and caretakers of each other's lives.  Once the children were grown we found no other person on the planet new us better than we knew each other.  No one loved us so completely unconditionally as we did.  I thought we were in love 50 years ago but that wasn't love, it was infatuation."

At this point I reached out and touched this man's wrinkled hand and just looked into his eyes.  I was having one of my many "holy fuck" moments.  I really was stunned into almost silence, but come on, this is me, I am never silent, really.  He continued to tell me that love is a process.  You have have attraction and from there, depending on the people involved you grow into love.  He told me he loves his wife with his entire being and couldn't even conceptualize a life without her in it.  He admits to having an affair, as did his wife.  This was one of the many low points in their marriage.  For him, love is trial and error, mistakes and forgiveness.  Living with a person, respecting them, growing together as people and as individuals is how he defined his concept of love.  You know, at this point, I had to ask he would marry me.  He laughed and said my perfect partner will come along.

This man and others prove to me that my understanding of love is commitment.  Commitment is a higher human emotion that is, quite frankly, forgotten lately.  I think divorce is a very real option for people when they just simply cannot work things out.  Sometimes it is better to separate and move on in life.  I also think there is a correct way to do it where the hurt is mitigated and lives do not have to be destroyed.

This is my issue with Leann and Eddie and, to be very honest, many people.  They have their desert before their dinner arrives.  Okay, so Leann and Eddie met, had an attraction.  So what?  Did they have to act on it?  No.  They could have very simply put their loins on hold and had the conversation with their respective spouses and set about ending their marriages before getting together.

I was in a relationship with Brad.  It was, at best, a rocky relationship.  Then I met Michael.  It was instant chemistry.  My body was on fire for this man.  I could not get enough of him.  We would see each other out and just talk.  Nothing more than a shoulder rub or eye contact ever happened.  I wanted to be with him every minute of every day.  Then came the night when he reached out and kissed me.  I still remember that kiss.  I have never been kissed that way again.  I pulled away and was filled with shame.  We talked about how I was in a relationship with Brad and I couldn't do this, I just couldn't.  We agreed to be just friends.

My relationship with Brad ended 6 months later.  I remember walking up to Michael one night and proudly announcing I was single.  I think we ran to his car to have sex.  We eventually moved in together.      We lasted about a year and half.  At the time I would have told you I loved Michael like I loved no other before him.  I can see now that it wasn't love, it was simply and overwhelmingly, an all consuming attraction.  Chemical or emotional it was there..woof.  I still get a tingle when I think of him.

I left Michael because his views on life, love and respect just weren't the same as mine.  We shared very little other than great sex and the ability to argue each other to death.  I miss Michael and wish him well.  I would love to still have him as a friend but he is unable to do that.  I respect that about him.

Back to task.  Leann and Eddie destroyed lives.  They have hurt their ex spouses and dare I say, traumatized Eddies children.  I watched the show on E! about Leann.  This is a very self-indulgent little lady.  I sat gobsmacked in front of my TV as she rationalized her part in such a public, hurtful situation.  The fake tears, the poetic pauses where well choreographed to do what Leann does best, perform.

Her explanation for her traumatic 30 days in Twitter rehab made me sick.  I heard her use the phrases I myself have heard a million times.  "Its strong to reach out for help."  When asked if she had any regrets about her actions, her reply is that she doesn't like the word regret, people "misuse" it.  Of course she doesn't like the word, if she did have regrets that would be a form of admitting she was wrong and she is very, very unwilling to do that.  That unto itself, tells me volumes about her and her character or lack thereof.

I am currently blocked by Leann on Twitter.  I guess she doesn't like my brand of in your face your wrong bitch tweets.  I don't buy the shit she tweets about love, light and rainbows.  Its BS, Nashville style.  Her tweets about another woman's children send me into another orbit of hatred for Leann.  She tweets pictures of Brandi and Eddie's boys in potentially dangerous situations and then when the public reacts, she downplays the seriousness of her thoughtless actions.  This is not a woman I would allow around my houseplants, let alone my children.

One day while reading about another one of Leann's bonehead moves it dawned on me.  Where the hell is Eddie in all of this?  Why is he so exempt from all the tabloid fodder?  He has his part in all this.  Why are people not holding his feet to same fire as they are doing to Leann.  If I was her, I would be pissed off, to say the least.  So why not Eddie.  My conclusion is that we still live in a very sexist society.  The man can cheat and leave, but its the mistress that is the whore, home wrecker.  Not very evolved if you ask me.  When it comes to the children, where the hell is this guy?  Usually quietly sitting off to the side, with his dimples intact smiling and looking oh so handsome.  Gross.  Meanwhile Leann is taking all the heat?  Like her not, what I am seeing is not very fair.

I don't like Leann anymore.  I refuse to support her music because of the hurtful and manipulative way she leads her personal life.  Her behavior on Twitter is repulsive.  Here is a little bit of reality Leann, PR is good for selling a product not erasing your responsibility in hurting others.  You will never spin yourself into being a good, kind, decent person.  Your relationship with your "soul mate" is born out of dishonesty and will probably end there as well.  You lack any part of what I consider to be good character traits to even have me view you as a decent person.  Ditto for you Eddie and even more so since Leann wasn't the first woman you stepped outside of your marriage with.

So I end this blog with just a thought.  Heed my friend Andy's advice.  Commit to honoring, respecting, and growing with another person.  Treat them well.  Forgive them when necessary.  For all that hard work you will be rewarded with a true and enduring love that will make you feel alive.

Nuclear Reaction - Taylor Armstrong

I found my reaction this evening to Taylor Armstrong to be well...over the top, even for me.  I had an actual physical reaction to her.  The way she moves, speaks and interacts with the other ladies on the show just makes me angry.  I am not an angry person by nature, but this woman just reaches in and tweaks the snot out of me.  I don't like it.

I am sure most of my followers, who love my funny tweets, noticed that I was off tonight.  I was.  In thinking about my reaction to Taylor I have come to some conclusions.  First, the fact that she is a con-artist bothers me.  Followed by her innate ability to see the flaws in others while completely ignore the glaringly obvious ones in herself.  She is pathological liar.  All of these are the reasons why I do not like this woman.

From the moment she started hinting she was abused I didn't believe her.  Her actions and interactions told me she was more likely to be an abuser than abused.  All the episodes where she gets drunk and attacks the other members of the show told me she was not abused.  This is not to say that abused people do not drink or get high.  They do and probably for good reasons.  It was the way she drank and the level of violence she exhibited when acting out with the other women that told me, if anything, she and  Russell were violent with each other.

What I realized tonight is my anger comes from her lying about being abused.  In a confusing and fucked up way, I felt her lying about being abused somehow diminished my own past abuse.  I realized that is not the case.  Taylor can lie and get people to buy her bullshit, but...but at the end of the day its just that, bullshit.  Her behavior will never diminish my past trauma nor anyone else's for that matter.  Progress right?

What does concern me is that her behavior will diminish the very real and present danger that every person, no matter their age, sex or economics, face.  That the public will see this succubi and her bullshit and become desensitized to the whole domestic violence situation.  She is on national TV.  She is currently the face of domestic violence or so she wants us to believe.  The only other person I can think of is RiRi (Rhianna) and her on and off again boyfriend Fist (Chris) Brown.  Another not so good example for the millions to see.

Could I be wrong about Taylor?  Sure.  Do I think I am?  Hell no!  This is how I see it.  Shauna Hughes, aka Taylor Hughes, aka Taylor Armstrong and Russell worked together to defraud and cheat people.  Long before Russell, Taylor was attempting to pass herself off as a member of the Ford (yes, the cars) family.  Her and Russell have worked in forming many different companies, such as the Nobel Foundation, which were nothing more than fronts for the grifts they currently were doing.  In fact, the actual Nobel family, famous for the Nobel Award, had to legally get Russell and Taylor to change the name of their company because they were intentionally misleading people about the true nature of their company.  With all the different names, Shauna Hughes, Shauna Ford, Shauna Taylor, Taylor Ford and Taylor Ford-Armstrong I just feel she is a consummate liar.

I think Taylor and Russell worked together to defraud people.  I think when the economy took a dive, most of the money they had rolling in from defrauding people dried up.  Tensions mounted, substances were abused, and fights erupted because the whole house of cards was crumbling around their feet.  The one thing a con-artist hates is to be found out.  Filing for bankruptcy, and potentially loosing their home was probably too much for the couple.  Being both very selfish people, it makes sense they would blame the other person.  I think Taylor was violent with Russell and he was probably violent with her.  Was Taylor a domestic abuse victim?  NO.  I believe she would get drunk, get into fights with her husband that escalated into physical violence.  What the relationship unhealthy?  Yes.  Due to the fact she and Russell were both con-artists.

Taylor doesn't resemble anyone, including myself, I have ever know that has truly been in an abusive relationship.  It took me 10 years of therapy to finally be able to stand up for myself after I left my abusive relationship.  To this day I don't allow myself the luxury of getting drunk around people I barely now.  There is danger in that!  I still jump a mile in the air if a person touches me.  Even when I care about them or if they are doing it nicely.  I consistently see Taylor bashing others.  I see her have no fear of getting up in someones face.  Talk to the people in my personal life, they will tell you that my tolerance level is very high.  I am not known for verbally violent outbursts.  Rather I am known to be very controlled, even under the most trying circumstances.  All very common traits many exhibit after severe abuse.

I thought about this tonight.  How many people are still buying the bullshit she is peddling.  It sickens me.  I did learn though that her actions do not diminish my experiences nor anyone else.  I will continue to slam Taylor with the truth every single chance I get.  I will to scream from the mountain tops that she is fraud.  It is my right under the first amendment.  I hope people listen and really think about Taylor.  Do some simple Googling and read all the reports on that woman.   For me, Taylor is a tragic miss as a person.  A liar, a cheat and pathetic excuse for a human being.  I pity her daughter for having her as a mother.  Most of all I am glad I understand myself and my reaction to her better.  I can move on from her and know she is, at best, a joke.